New Years Absolution

  
   So January's about resolutions right? I know we are half way through January, but when your a Mom what ever starts on time?! So my New Years resolution this year, like many's, is what my resolution has been every year since David was born....to lose my "baby" weight. That baby weight I've been carrying around with me, longer than I've had to carry David around (who is now four ). I wish that my fat would just jump off my body and ask to walk! But I suppose that's not going to happen right?
    I signed up for Weight Watchers & it's a new year, it's a new me right?  Well that's what I'm going for! Because my New Years resolution this year isn't just to lose weight, although that will be a added bonus. It is a resolution that combines a lot of things in my life, something I've always had troubles with. This year is the year, I am going to finish things that I start. I'm going to be organized, disciplined, focused, go after what I want, and achieve goals that I've had stored away since college.

There's a couple of reasons for this resolution...

1.)

     I'm getting married this year in June. Dave and I are finishing up something we started so long ago...I met Dave when I was a freshman in college. Back then I had a butt you could bounce a quarter off. Now when I sit down on the couch my butt swallows up all the change that fell out of Dave's pants pockets. Truth is, I had a really hard pregnancy towards the end, a hard labor and delivery, and I got really sick after David was born. I was on steriods for a couple months and my weight ballooned. I had been feeling bad for myself ever since. So there I admitted it. I haven't been doing everything humanly possible to stay fit & healthy. I've spent a lot of that energy being mad & feeling sorry for myself.
     Well that will change this year! Why? Because Dave has loved me every day, in every shape & weight. He's seen me transform from young, hip, skinny college girl- to doubty, self depreciative, sleep deprived new Mom-to this new woman I am becoming, who is comfortable with who she is but wants a little more from life.
      I want to loose this weight because not only does he deserve to marry a healthy happy woman but also because I want him to know that I'm not going to take the free ride anymore. For many years I've become complacent and well lazy... we had so many dreams when we met-dreams seperately, dreams for our future together & I had given up on them. Let's be frank I gave up on me. I took me out of it. Being a Mother has been amazing, but it's hard figuring out who you are after your whole life becomes about someone else. So this year I am working on finding the balance in it all.

2.)

     My second reason is-not that I truly believe in any of these Mayan or Nostradamus 2012 predictions. But just in case, just to cover all my bases. If the world does end, I would like to not have any regrets. So that includes getting married, losing my baby weight, being the best Mommy and wife I can be, and doing more things that I have been too afraid to do. Which brings me to my third and final reason for this resolution.

3.)

To be fearless. And this will prove to be challenging because I am afraid of my own shadow! It's more about taking more chances & more risks. Putting myself into uncomfortable situations to get out of my comfort zone. This blog is terrifying for me! I had talked myself out of it for years...no one will like it, I won't be any good, people will talk about me negatively, and so on and so forth. But this year I want to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones and not care too much about reprecussions. I want to go on that trip, I want to go to the movies alone, I want to take that kick boxing class WITHOUT a friend & not care if people stare, I want to be a Mommy that David can be proud of, and I want to write cause it's all I've wanted to do since I was little. And I want to be happy and healthy and fulfilled,,,and I'm not going to feel guilty for it!